Stagecoach lady, hourglass body

Makin' thinks glow in the night

Well, she would if she could

And she'd be good if she would

Only be a lover, she'd be out tonight



'Cause I'm a bad

Lonely school boy

And I'm a rat

And it's too bad

Can't get me none of that



Salt Lake City, salt-lickin' biddies

Bogus honey stinkin' of gin

Well my daddy was hard

His face was pretty scarred

From kickin' ass to playin' poker to win



'Cause I'm a bad

Lonely school boy

And I'm a rat

And it's too bad

Can't get me none of that



It's too bad



It's too bad

Can't get me none of that



Loose old lady

My mama Katy

Chivalry was born at her feet

Well she should have thought twice

When Pa shot his dice

The night she put my daddy to sleep



'Cause I'm a bad

Lonely school boy

And I'm a rat

And it's too bad

Can't get me none of that



It's too bad

Lord, it's too bad

I said it's too bad

Lord, it's too bad



(Repeat)