She broke up with me, two days later
I think she met Don Juan in, Italy
She has a new man, I have a new mustache

Now all my friends are gonna call me mountain man
And everyone will think that I'm a stupid drifter
To walk the earth alone, I'll never shave again

On the night she left me, facial hair grew miraculously
I dressed in black like Johnny Cash, and grew this beard of shame

I've heard it said she looks a lot like, Sherilyn Fenn
And sometimes I'm mistaken for, Billy Gibbons
Look like a wise man, but I'm an idiot

It's over, she left me, and she will soon forget me
She found out I was lame, I grew a beard of shame

Come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant
I am a new man, I have a beard of shame